"Ok. So, this one time, this (nameless) guy spilled something staining (juice? Don’t remember) on the tile floor outside his room. He wanted to do the responsible thing and clean it up. So, he poured alcohol on the floor and lit in on fire, on the theory that that would burn it off. Now there's a big bleached white area where the fire was.

"There used to be tile in the rooms as well as the hall. And (the same guy) used to, you know, look at stuff on his computer, sitting at the chair in front of it. And he didn't always clean up as good boys should . . . . Now, I don't know how familiar you are with old dried semen . . . . but . . . . at a later date he goes to move his chair which has been sitting in front of the computer, and discovers that one of the legs has become *glued* to the tile floor. He finally wrenches the chair as a whole free . . . but the glued foot breaks off and remains attached to the floor."