Picture four carloads of pirates, an inflatable raft, and the unsuspecting, drunken, dockside terrace of The Haunt on 80s night.

After the first shipment arrived via the dock, an evil-looking bouncer came out to chill on the deck.

We all got onstage and started dancing the Best Jigs Ever (tm), and then we all yelled YARRRRR and the whole place was silent for a few moments, which is really an impressive feat for a club jammed shoulder-to-shoulder with fratboys and sorostitutes.

This random guy was about to buy me a rum (rum! rum! Like a pirate motorcycle!)when we all ran out and decided to go keel-haul Tammany next.

The tits in the foreground belong to Roo, who sang the sea-shanty about Jack and the mermaid who had no crotch.

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Going to dinner as pirates...

We paid only in gold dubloons.

(Those be Susan B. Anthony quarters from the mailroom vendin' machines, arr).